I wonder whose arms I would run and fall into, if I was drunk in a room with every person I have ever loved.
The real question is who in that room would still catch you.
woah. this was already intense, but that last comment hit hard.
I’ll be honest. I’m very cynical toward love; more so than ever. I’m afraid of being betrayed, hurt, and I have no drive to put myself in a position where my life is dependent on anyone. Even though she showed me the splendor in giving yourself to someone, I also now understand the curse in forgiveness and the plague of losing yourself in someone else. It’s difficult, but I know it’s my turn to apply that which had broke us and what changed us to try being happy again. My first love still burns brightly in me; violent and beautiful. However, the good times are over and done with; Our rough patches and scars remind us of why we had to stay apart, why I gave her up, and why I had to let her go. Now, I’m making new moments and she’s making her own—- taking the places that once were only ours and sharing them with new people; it hurts, yeah, but, as adults we have to see that our paths are irreversible. All I can do now is take what caused our relationship to fail and work on them to make it better for the next time I fall in love. My habits, my faults, my lenience and devote them to someone who was meant for me. I loved her; oh boy, did I love her. As much as our last year drove us apart, I know that there was so much perfection in what we used to share; but people change and lives change. I know that she’ll be ready to fall in love again with someone else and rekindle the lost fire that she’s lost from me. As will I. We are milestones in eachother’s lives that have been lived and passed on. I’m learning to accept that. I’m learning to take our downfall and create something better off of it—- even if the idea of love occasionally seems like the apocolypse. She taught me what it was like to tear down my walls, to give yourself completely, and how it feels to be wanted for all that you are; and although I’m not ready to go through it all again, I know the beauty in falling in love now through her. One day, I’ll be ready to risk it all for that jackpot. Right now, I like where I am and who I chose to start again with. One day, I’ll be ready. One day, I’ll be happy again—- and I hope she’s happy now.
I thought she was a hella flirt. First time I met her, I knew she was the type who was just comfortable around boys. She was basically a flirtatious robot to me. I didn’t like her until later on in my Junior year when she’d call me with her problems or talk to me sincerely until we fell asleep at, like, 3 in the morning. We tried getting together twice, but in vain. The day I realized I liked her still and we started dating again was when I came over one night and we drove around to nowhere. We didn’t do a damn thing, but, it’s just nice to have company when two people are hurting. We just sat in the park and talked; all I knew is that I didn’t want to go home for days.